It bugs me when I have nothing to say. When I feel like nothing is happening that is special enough write about, or post on Facebook. I'm not having some spiritual crisis or seeing visions or anything. I'm just kinda living, and it bugs me. It's not even that I want to impress everyone by talking about all my spiritual growth or all the miracles that I see or anything. I want to impress myself. I want to feel like I'm actually doing something. What I don't realize is that I already am. God doesn't always work in big bangs and people being saved out the wazoo. Of course, he can do all that stuff, he just doesn't do it all the time. God is certainly unpredictable but he's always working, even we don't feel it. Because it's not about our feelings! It's not about us in general.
When God first revealed Himself to me, I was so shocked. I was practically blinded, like Paul. I was so in love, He was all I could think about. He was all that mattered to me. I always hear the term "on fire" and that's exactly what it was. And it was awesome! I would definitely recommend it. I will certainly never be the same. What God has revealed to me, though, is that trusting Him, in my day to day life, is just as important. I have to trust that when I've been sitting on my couch all day doing school work that He still loves me and is still working. I have to trust that it's in His plan that I am here. Even when everything in the world is calling my name, I have to trust that His voice is the one that will lead me on the right path, even when the world looks a lot more appealing. And it is hard. And messy and frustrating and beautiful and awesome and I honestly wouldn't trade it for anything. He is absolutely enough. :)
