Contentment

I have to say, I'm not really sure what I'm doing. All my life I've always been wishing that my life would be different in some way. That if I was older, Godlier, lived somewhere else, acted like someone else my life would be awesome, like something you make a movie about. I've never been content with who I am, or where I'm at at that particular moment. This past year, when I really figured out who Jesus was, all I wanted was to be somewhere else. I felt trapped in my little suburban town, I wanted to change the world. It's funny how now that I'm actually here, out in the world, I kind of want to go back. And I'm sure that if/when I do go back, I'll totally regret feeling that way. It's actually strange how surreal it all is and it doesn't feel as foreign countryish as I thought it would. I'm certainly not changing the world by any means. But I certainly don't want to sound like God hasn't been doing amazing things and that I haven't been growing, because I have. I'm 100% sure I'm supposed to be right were I am, which is comforting in so many ways. I just kind of wish I had someone to really support and encourage me and ask me one on one what I'm struggling with. I mean, I get to throw in a couple sentences in our saturday bible studies with my family and Cam, Nick and Jared. But it's not the same as someone talking to you because they care about you. I guess what I'm saying is that I wish I had a friend. Someone outside of my family. I've never not had a friend before.
The cool thing is, that through all that, I can learn how it is to fully rely on God. Even if I never have a single friend in this country, God is and always will be, my friend, my mentor, my dad, my king, my very life, which is way better than a trillion friends. I guess my prayer is simple that I can remember that and that He be my focus and that I realize that it's Him who can change the world and is changing it. It's Him that I can be content in with everything.